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Agent Ballard Makes It Rain, a literary agent’s playlist by Noah Ballard

This is probably the most eclectic mix we’ve had to date. Noah Ballard is a movie podcaster on “Be Reel, Guys”, a driven literary agent, and a dedicated piebrary guinea pig. I asked him if he would make a playlist inspired by the hustle and sweat that goes into being young and hungry in the publishing industry, and this is the result. Although it does start out with about 7 minutes of sensual piano music, this playlist has some highs and lows that I think a lot of young professionals in New York will recognize.

Here’s what Agent Ballard has to say:

“No one wants you to be there. No one wants you in their way trying to fight for a position on the subway. No one wants you on the street smoking cigarettes in their face. No one wants you to be in front of them in the Starbucks line. No one wants you to call them at their office and try to sell them something. No one cares if you want more wasabi with your sushi lunch. No one gives a shit that it’s the afternoon already and you’re tired, and you kind of want to go home, but you still have a huge pile of things to do. No one cares what you’re wearing. No one needs you to small talk with them. No one is going to help you sweat any less, drink any more, eat any better, get laid more frequently.

Except for motherfucking Yanni. Yanni wants you to make love to a beautiful person on a piano. And Kendrick Lamar wants you to step that hustle up and blow up that pile of papers. And Brian Wilson thinks it’s cool if you just want to dream big from your bed. And Tim Carr wants you to smoke more cigs and drink more beer. So does Heems. Tim Kasher will goddamn small talk with you. About girls who ruined his life. Those Canadian hipsters from Broken Social Scene care what you’re wearing. They think you look nice. Stephen Malkmus probably doesn’t have an office, but he gets what you’re doing. Conor Oberst and Drake get that you’re a grown-ass person with grown-ass emotions. Elliott Smith is dead—but he’ll totally give you a spot on the subway, even if it only goes one way. And Bob Dylan? That dude is off to get you another wasabi ball.”